Friday, September 30, 2005

12 Daily Pro!

Ok, I've somehow link my site from 12 Daily Pro and notice most members from here just surf site for the sake of surfing without even care what the content is. For those friends of mine ignore this post =p

So I hope you guys ( linked from the site ) will leave a comment since I want to find out if you guys really view those sites being auto surf. Thanks =)

Wednesday, September 28, 2005


I have found out from my stat counter that certain keywords do attract random viewers to my blog. Guess orgasm is one of the great word that increase the traffic =p. Anyway I am feeling excited yet frustrating this whole week. Pressure is building up and I could feel the sensation of it, pure bliss and ecstasy. It’s exam week for your information and it’s the only time I get such a pressure from worrying how to attempt every paper and pass them with black and white colours. Somehow I think that I’m the type of person that only works efficiency when I’m pushed to the limit just like now.

I still remember when I was in primary, just before UPSR my tuition teacher Steph gave me a very harsh warning to me when I did badly in my exams, and the next day I managed to score extremely good results. I have screw-up habits like pushing myself to the edge just to make things more interesting and to feel the pressure. A weird nature but somehow I agree that it really motivates me a lot, keeping the adrenaline rushing. I love to work non-stop and meet ends. Pressure really makes life better, although it could collapse someone and cause emotional breakdown and exhaust the soul, but who cares since I never had one, mine is just hormone imbalance =p.

This few days, I was going through piles of notes and it keeps me going on and on. The feeling of attempting the papers are just like roller-coaster ride, thrilling and fun but the bad part is when you couldn’t do anything to solve the answer, then it’s frustrating, just like having STD after making out with a hooker. Conclusion = procrastinating sucks, hell of crap with the pressure idea, when you drag everything to the limit and couldn’t finish what you’re planning to do, it’s totally screw-up and failure is failure, no excuses or whatever shit.

Still, I’m having a good time reading, although it might be too late but the thrill is getting better and better and it’s a good thing to improve on knowledge anyway, although I guessed that I’ve failed my electronics paper. Anyway, the future me, perhaps I would get myself in some job full of pressure that would drain every single bit of my soul and I believe I could do better than most people in such situation, efficiency at 110% while enjoying the orgasm of working, the best feeling you could ever had. Forget bout masturbating and sex, those are for losers … well just kidding =p

Saturday, September 24, 2005

hmmm ...

I had a weird dream just now. Maybe because my ear is not that painful now I could manage to take a nice nap. Sometimes I do think that dreams will tell us something in our lives, may it be some deja-vu feelings about the future or the reflect of your own personality. I still remember clearly, inside the dream. I was driving and fetching my friends for some food. Then there's this friend (I'm not gonna tell who is he =p unless you bribe me .. but who cares anyway) started to grumbled and I forgot why, but he's so annoying till his hands started to touch and disturb me driving. Then I started to get annoy and asked him to stop it or I will drop him off the road. Then this KKR brat still so annoying and finally I did drop him off the road after several warnings. He started to cry and merajuk, and hates me alot until another friend got down of the vehicle and start to console him. Then I was so worried about him .. I still need to get to the destination but somehow I couldnt give in to ask him get inside the car. So I called another friend who is also driving to get back and pick him up while me waiting on the side of the road. Will he forgive me for my harsh action ? I don't know since it's just a 1-2 hrs of nap .. dreams don't last long enough to know the ending....

So maybe this dream is a warning for me on how mischevious my future daughter is =.= Or a reflect of my personality .. I don't know but the more you think the more scary it will be .. sometimes it's frustrating, I rather had a nightmare where a 'piantai' ghost chasing on me to rape me =p

Friday, September 23, 2005

Annoying Pain

My left ear is hurting so badling till I can feel crampness on my jaws. Now I can't even open my mouth as wide as possible and I couldn't sleep on it. Imagine sleeping without turning; which is so frustrating and without a good sleep everyone will get moody =.= I guess it's some swollen pimples that grow inside or maybe some kinda infection, hope it'll cure soon or I'll be a deaf person, then I'll live a very dreadful life and when everyone gave up on me.. I'll be left rotten in the dark corner of the street. Well being deaf aint that bad but still it's annoying.

So despite not sleeping well, I was thinking if one day when I turn blind and deaf will there be anyone who's willing to accept me as a life partner? Well, to think that when you are partially handicaped is enough of annoyance to yourself and it's better that you don't even try to make others life more difficult. For me, if I am to get into such a situation, I would stay anonymous and stay away from the one I love so that my existance will not somehow annoy or make her feel troublesome. To love someone is to hope for everything the best she could have and try not to ruin others life. Not to worry, I cud still survive by selling my paintings and auctions them on E-bay and I might be rich and famous...

Well sometimes there's just no way for you to be selfish. When you think of not annoying people and shut everything to yourself, it might still be unfair to those who love you since they really care for you...

So what will you do if you're in my case ?

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

who touch me ?

and holy shit while having insomnia I felt asleep at around 7 morning and someone touch me ... I'm very sure it's a HE and not my brother. I'm suspecting his friends or either my cousin brother but he said no one -_-

Now I'm gay...

Can't sleep = SHIT

Okay, it's now 4.30 am and as usual I am having insomnia. Not really insomnia, guess I slept too much during the day time and now I'm doing nothing staring at the MSN list of mine; everyone is asleep and the most insomniac person in the world couldn't get online either. So the only thing I could do is to read up hundreds of pages of Electronics, Field Theory and stuffs that I had been slacking for months.

Gosh .. I am screwed ..

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Midnight Post

How shitty is it to be blame for something which had nothing to do with you at all? I'm currently in a very confused state; guess things might not be that bad but if it really turn out ugly i think i'll really need a voodoo doll !

Life is unexpected !

Hmmm .. boring entry I guess, currently I'm thinking of getting a cool present for someone and I have a nice idea. Hope I'll initiate it.. laziness kills me. Goodnite !

Friday, September 02, 2005

The Simple Mind

I have good karma today. Just back from community service, which is a must activity for moral subject. Well, the day was kinda tiring due to the hot weather but everything was fun. From that, I've learnt that the society which is sometimes unfair, and it is our job to help them out. We actually went to a place called PERKORP, a NGO that was formed by parents of mentality handicapped children, either down syndrome or wateva ... which is a workshop for them to learn to be independance and make their own living. In other words, the place is for them to get odd jobs like packing KFC tissues and doing laundries for hotels. The project will be a lifelong project and they are setting this organization because most parents believe that when they are no longer alive, no one would take care of their childrens and they have to depend on themselves and slowly make their own living. Parents are the only selfless individuals that will look after them ... *Thumbs-up to all parents*

So when we reached there, my friend's uncle who is one of the founder of the organization brief us about the purpose of the organization. He told us that our awareness on the existance of such people is important, since they're more vulnerable compare to those blind and mute. Then we're involved on the activities they're doing. All of the members in the center is around 17 to 50 years old and there are a total of 50 over members, each with their own personalities which is quite fun to discover .. and different efficiency level. Some would managed to pack over a thousand set of tissues per day while some might have problem reaching a hundred. Those who's much better will help in the kitchen where they're need to handle knives and stuff. They're setting up a bakery which sells mooncakes, tarts and stuff.

Till lunch time, another interesting thing. These groups of people find it hard to handle with numbers. Most can only count from 1 to 5 and they're not aware of money matters. So, they will need to pay RM 2.50 in order to get their lunch and they have to ask the money from their parents. This is a way to teach them the importance of money and how to value them. Of coz they still let them have lunch even if they forget to do so. Then there's drinking water session where everyone was so excited and ran to their lockers to drink water. There's this active and bossy girl who asked us to go and continue our work when she found out that we don't bring our bottles of water to drink. Then there's this indian girl, Syilvia ( she's 44 if not mistaken ) who loves to talk. She told me bout all her stuffs, non stop and will urge me to sit beside her to listen to all her stuff. Another girl, will always seek for attention but she couldnt communicate verbally. There's once she hug my hand and drag me to somewhere .. and I just smile at her don't even know what happened. Some of the members are kinda smart, a guy even lied to me on his name...

Well during da time we're supposed to leave, we took a group picture with them. No idea why they're so excited to go home, simple minded I guess .. and they're as happy as how we felt like after taking the last paper of some major exams. There's a guy even held my hand ( those couple type of holding - locking finger ) and I had no idea what he's doing .. so just smiled =p

The above title, Simple Mind refers to this group of people. They look young of course, since everyone there refer us as 'uncle and aunties' although they're way older than us. We worried too much. Not worrying at all might be a problem but we're not supposed to make ourselves look old.

Btw, last two days I'm really worrying for nothing. Maybe she's not telling me bcoz of her rationalizing the whole situation that it would be plain stupid for me just to go there looking at her and wasting my time.. but for me doing something like just looking at her is not stupid at all.

Simple mind i guess .. we shudnt think too much ..