Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Memory of a lifetime

Guess this is how a year of romance ends, and it's not that depressing after all. For me I always know that love is not suitable for me at all, I'm lame at it and my rational brain knows that it wouldn't last long enough. I've learn a lot from this relationship, about giving, taking and also the non existence of logic in it. Relationship is never realistic. I have met a girl that is so wonderful till I could deeply fall for her without holding back. She’s great, smart and sweet, not any ordinary person you could imagine.. and that’s what makes her so lovely. I never regret loving her whole heartly because she’s the only one that I’m willing to do so. I’m always very reserved but to her it’s totally different. From this relationship I’ve learn that giving is just not enough. It takes both parties to indulge in it. She need romance, surprises and stuff that could get her all excited and I just couldn’t fulfill that. She loves me and her expectations on romance … It’s just not practically possible for me to sacrifice everything for it, distance makes it harder to accomplish. I wouldn’t blame anyone; guess that we fall in love in the wrong stage of life, where I am limited by a lot of stuff to fulfill her romance, and she is not ready for a static relationship. Things will be better if we are to meet 5 years later. Guess we’re still so young and if things just drag on without any solution it’ll just rot down da drain. It’s not easy for me to find someone else; maybe not possible at all but this will be the best solution. Keeping a relationship just for the sake of responsibility make things worst although I still love her. The memory with her will last forever …

Well it all started years back when I was in Melaka, was shopping at Tesco with my friend Bryan. When we’re going back his mom was asking where he was, and I was looking for him until I reach a VCD shop where she is working there. Bryan was talking to her.. and we just hi and bye..

Time passed, after few months we get to chat online, but not that often. She lost her phone so I couldn’t get to contact her at all, until somehow we get closer through chatting online. After almost a year the first time we met back was when I needed her help to look for my friend Rachel’s house. I could still remember the first thing she bump into the car is to get herself troubled with the safety belt and I’ve to help her with that. A girl that craps a lot, she even asked me the fur used to make the dashboard cover =)

The next day, which is the week of Christmas, we went for our first date late at night. We always went out late. It’s Portuguese Settlement where we walked around looking at the Christmas lightings on the trees and houses. Then to Klebang Beach, the lamest place in Melaka and we managed to till half way until she dragged me back to the car due to tiredness.

The second time, which is after Christmas is the first time I managed to hold her hand. I get a bottle of glow in da dark stars as Christmas gift. We went to Wings for food and as usual I’m the only one to eat. Sang her a lame song with da stupid guitar of mine and this time we managed to walk till da haunted house of Klebang. Our third date, we walk on da opposite way towards the road and houses. I was kinda regret to suggest that since it was kinda dangerous with all the cars moving in high speed so I kept ensuring her to walk on the inside lane.

Throughout our dates, most of the time it involves going to the beach. There’s once this girl have the chance to drive me out and her driving is scary but she’s so cute driving =). Most of the time I’ll be the one to be confused of where to go since it’s always after 10 or 11 at night and when it’s her turn to drive around, she would still end up in Klebang. I’ve lost track how many times we actually went out, we met around twice a week when I was still in Melaka. When she decided to quit her jpa and came back, it’s the moment where I worried about her the most. That night we went out again and I was glad that she could still cope with it well, it was Wednesday. Time passed quickly, and it’s time for me to transfer back to KL. The night when my brother came from KL, it was raining and she visited my room, messy room. Then we just drove around and sit inside the car, under the rain. The last night of the day I’m in Melaka, we managed to go out again and this time, it’s the most beautiful sky I’ve ever seen.. thousands of stars to bid us goodbye, but I know we should go on with life.

We meet less often then, there’s once I drove all the way to find her, just before I went UK. Secret recipe, a piece of marble cheese and chocolate fudge .. of course I finished them all again. Since it’s so late again, Klebang … and I managed to steal her first kiss. I’ve got a house in Melaka and I’ll use it as a reason for me to go there. Once we went for cinema and again it’s her first time since many years visiting the cinema. It’s batman. Sushi King shows me that she’s really a weirdo in dining.. and her favorite unagi left me with all the rice to finish up. MK Bingo for papaya + egg and and we’re so crazy that we went MP again for another Tamil movie, but never managed to watch it. McD next and we just sat in the car park infront of McD. There’s another time we watch a horror movie and I regretted dragging her into it. For most of the time our date will just be sitting inside the car doing nothing, spending quality time together.

Time really flies, and now the feeling has gone. We’re just too young to understand love yet. It’s not that easy just to maintain it for so many years till we could finally get together and now it’s a break. Even if things drag on, it’s not possible to stay forever… until we truly learn what love is. Well, one fine day we might just bump back in da street and start a whole romance fantasy again =) not realistic for me but that’s always what she dream of. It’s fate if we’re mean to be together.. just like the crappy “My Sassy Girl” story =p

A memory of love that’ll never be forgotten ..

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Wet Dreams

The theory of not having wet dreams are constantly having sex or masturbate. For me I'm kinda agree with the idea but today the topic here is about wet dreams, not real life sex or masturbation...

Yesterday night I nearly had one. If guys are to ask a single honest question about who is in your wet dreams, the list might be awesome, like your teachers, siblings or even your mom ?? Well, it's just a dream so don't worry much about it but just keep everything that is kinda ' ISH ' to yourself and just yourself. Well mine is not so ' ISH ', coz I'm not dreaming about doing it with animals or guys or even some kinda other crazy stuff. There's this old friend of mine who is seducing me and we are on the same bed ( I've no idea why did I end up there ) and she hugs me tight. Then somehow it got intimate and I responded to her hug. Then when I am trying to go a bit further down her shirt something struck my mind ..

At the split second I push her aside and walk away from the bed .. goddamn it ! So after I woke up from my dream which is NOT WET AT ALL .. I started to rationalize thing why I never proceed on it and come out with a few possible reasons that I will list down according to rankings here :-
10) I'm being very loyal to my current partner :p
9) The girl is not my cup of tea (although she has a big boobs)
8) The girl is someone that seek for responsibility after sex
7) The girl is someone I know quite well ( which is a pain in da ass when she finds you )
6) The girl is not someone I don't know at all
5) The dream is too real and I forbid myself to do it due to responsibilites
4) I'm drunk that time and I'm irrational
3) I couldn't perform on that time ?
2) Someones calling me away
1) I'm actually gay

So for the conclusion .. I had a bad sleep .. goodnight

Thursday, October 13, 2005

fong fei kei

Wa jin jia tu lan PPL fong fei kei .. Kong liau ai jor eh tai ji boh jo .. breaking promise again and again. Normally I will ignore those who fong fei kei me straight away, unless in some special case ..

Tu lan maximum .. cheebye Maple .. lu si jin jia cheebye la, pek tiam patching bo horr se, patch kau zhap tiam ..

Haih .. depressing with boredom ~ Cheebye Maple lu kah kin hor se la ..

Limpeh si~bek sien aka boring ..

Wahh ... an juah horr ? I've done almost everything I could do to cure boringness .. already surf kimochi ( www.kimochi-ii.com - this site very siok wan ah .. haha ) and eaten everything available ... still sien kah boh si. Jin tong korr ~

Wa bun emm zhai wa zhu ku ai jor ha mi, jin jia depressing la, bo kang kui jor .. jiat lat kah boh si. Insomnia zho wa buay kun, astro also si-bek sien, jin jia cheebye. Gui kang pak GAME pak ka bat jiew bun tia .. olikatai lorrr

jiat lat .. jiat lat~~

Next week I'll be back to KL.. pls organize a party for me ah

P/S: Above is written in hokkien.. goodluck reading =)

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Love or Obsession

Love is to concern about her when both are not in touch for a few days.
Love is to wonder if she's still having insomnia when you yourself couldn't sleep.
Love is to think of how bad it is eating unhealthy food because of her.
Love is to wonder what she is doing on the other corner of the world.

Obsession is the overwhelmed condition of everything above and might even annoyed the hell out of your partner, unless both party are obsessed with each other and for sure either one will get bored with it anyway. So practically one party would get hurt, either you or your partner. That is why love relationship is never practical in any sense. It's not a fair trade and this is why most people are happier becoming a monk, avoiding all these nonsense.

For me, love is giving without thinking of the return. Love with whole heart and never ask for a fair trade, loving her with everything you have.. Just like a father loving his daughter, he will wish for all her best until one day she married a nice guy and has a happy life, he will be very proud of her. I love my daughter =)

Ok crap, I'm not that sicko or complicated guy, just that during this morning boring journey from pudu makes my sanity goes wild.. and start thinking nonsense. Crap I hate buses !

Friday, October 07, 2005

Gamers sensation

I've no life. Now I'm officially classified as a gamer, spending whole day for some stupid game. Why not? Nothing much to do in my life ... anyway I did went for a movie on Wednesday .

Look how cute I look in da pic .. hehehe. Hunny, if you're not so busy anymore and get online to read here, I just wanna tell you that I luv u so much and miss you terribly. Having you irritating me to shorten my life 2 years is way better than anything else in the world.

I'm goin penang on weekends, for a week I guess.. godbless me~ I hate taking bus !!

Monday, October 03, 2005

The Gamers

My cousin's gf was talking bout Sodaku or something like that in her blog. She should be more up-to-date since those puzzle games are outdated. Nowadays, brats like us go for online games, may it be DoTA or some other craps. For me it's way better than stupid puzzles. Online RPG, or MMORPG is the thing we use to go on now ..

This is Maple Story, some crappy game that could waste your time easily. For those people who thinks games are useless and spending time in the virtual world is stupid(my cousin's gf is one of them .. outdated mentality) then it's totally wrong. Maybe we get nothing return in reality through it but the experience of it counts. The above picture is the sweet memory of mine throughout the game. Call me a nerd who live in the virtual world, memories are a piece of abstract thing as well.

Enjoy fellow gamers.. don't be fooled by stupid puzzle games. This is the Age of GEEK!