Thursday, November 24, 2005

Piece of meaningful crap

time and time again, i tell myself not to be so nice to him
it seems that a lot of relationship ends because one party is too good and the other feels pressured and guilty in treating them less
in the end, they choose to give up, thinking that the nice people should go with other people, get someone else who can treat them equally good

that, is one of the most selfish thing to do in a relationship.
if the nice one thinks that the relationship is not worth their time and effort, they would leave by themselves
just because one cannot face the guilt, they choose to rumaway instead
leaving their partner behind; the one who is willing to stay and go through ups and downs, anything with them, because of L O V E
it is such a big mistake to leave, thinking that the other would find someone better and be more happy

how could one be happy when their heart is broken?
how could one be happy when they are being left all alone?
how could one be happy when all the promises given to them are being broken with just a snap of the finger?
most importantly, how could one be happy when the only person who can make them happy is hurting them and running away from them?

i am staying not because i don't have the guts to leave.
neither am i staying because of your looks or money
i am staying, simply because i love you.

no matter how badly you hurt me,
no matter how badly you treat me,
no matter how much you ignore me,
i would still stay with you, because i love you

if one day, i decided to walk away, don't ask me to stay
i would never leave you if i love you
if that day ever comes,
it means that either my love for you is gone
or that it has become impossible to love you

I'm violating copyrights for posting this, but guess she wouldn't mind.. it's from one of my client

Tuesday, November 22, 2005


I feel like dying anytime soon.. the pain in my ear is just freaking annoying and really keep me awake; and at the same time I'm fucking sleepy and having headache.. Never felt this bad before !

Well it's 4.49 morning .. gonna wait for another few more hours to get myself to the doctor .. I haven't seen a doc for quite sometime.

Gosh .. life is annoying

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Drama is based on real life ~

Now I'm getting back my old habit of watching drama from the television. Before this I even forgot about the existance of television and my life was all about getting online, watching drama(s) in front of the monitor screen and chatting with people through the MSN whole day. Somehow I'm interested with this drama on channel 8 at 7pm; Life Begins At Forty. It's about a few guys who are around that group of age dealing with their job, life and also relationship problems.

Today, it revolves about this guy and girl breaking up in a relationship, due to some problems. From the story we could see that ego really kills a relationship and my brother was somehow hinting me with that -_-". I particularly like this character by Chin Kar Lok; being an early 40 years old man who has a cute grown up daughter and is starting a relationship but still he couldnt let go his ex-wife. Somehow in today episod, he found out that his ex-wife was already dead and because of the past memory that haunted him, he's not able starting a new life.

Telling himself and shouting out, " I MUST FORGET HER ! I WILL NOT MISS HER "... seems pathetic .. does it work ? Well, I never dare to try doing something like that; it's too much for me to handle. At least he in da drama has a cute grown up daughter :-p

Still, TV dramas are full of commercials especially shampoo ones, and I hate them for some weird reasons. Better download them illegally from the net !

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Goodbye Holidays ~

Well, a month of holidays pass just like the tsunami.. bad metaphor. I've done nothing much in this holiday, and I never enjoy it at all. Guess that 'something' really gave me kinda huge impact.

But anyway, I'm having a great time these few days and it's partially because of the food. Yesterday I had Fried Oyster, Roast Chicken, Grilled Fish, Satay, Pasembur, Fried Rice, Fried Clamps aka lala, Fried Noodles, Crysantemum Tea, Soya Bean, Ice Kacang for DINNER .. yeah

And today .. STEAMBOAT .. really keep me occupied for just eating, spending whole night eating is just great !!!

Goodbye Holidays.. and welcome da new sem ~

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Dr. Eng therapy report

Well, the next day this girl look and the morning sky. She told me that the sky is beautiful, cirrus cloud, blue sky but she was not really free to gaze on it for a long time.

Dr.Eng: Well, now try to imagine the night sky. Clouds are only pretty when you see from a far, so do the stars since when you're on the planet itself it will feel nothing. Do you know the reason why I ask you to look at the sky ?

Girl: You're asking me to see things in different perspective. When you're too deeply or too near/obsessed with the issue then you will not feel the beauty of it.

Dr.Eng: Ok, you're good.. I juz crap it out; I don't know the reason myself ..

Girl: Hahahaha

Well, the whole idea of doing this therapy means nothing but to open her heart. I couldn't help out in her relationship matter but at least I could cheer her up in some 'lame ways' and giving her enough attention so that she could be more rational, more capable of dealing with her problems. Dr.Eng never offer sollutions on problems, he will just heal the heart so that she herself will deal with it. She's happier I guess.. good luck girl !

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Doctor Eng - the love therapist

Well, as I too am a failure in a relationship.. still many people choose to tell me about their relationship problems. I never give sollution on it, because I know those involved know what they should do and they understand the case better, and my job is just to listen to them.. and that's what make me highly reputated; well kidding.

So there's two case. First would be a friend of mine having virtual crush on someone through some online game, something normal these days where the internet is part of our lives. She's worried and insecured with it but I believe she could solve it..

Second case, more serious. she's trying to leave everything for his man, family and home .. She's not local, and because of her bf she decided to leave home even though her parents want her back. Accomodation, financial stress and even VISA problem .. oh gosh and she still hold on because she had fell so deep even though he's starting to treat her cold.. She had nothing left in her life as she said, no friends .. just him; and even tried to cut her wrist =_="

" in time, the sparks would die down and things would cool off...
for some, the relationship cool off TOO much, resulting in the pair going their seperate ways.
others developed into a more stable kind of relationship"

She told me that, and she's someone who's matured enough in this relationship thingy. But still, when it really comes to yourself, you couldnt do anything but to feel the misery of it.

Well I need to help her out.. so my first therapy on her is to ask her to look at the morning sky and describe the cloud.. simple therapy .. does it help ? I don't know ...