Midnight Thoughts

It's 3.38am now and somehow I always blog at such hours... when I can't sleep and feeling cranky. Must be the ice-tea I had just now; recently my body have less tolerance toward caffeine effect, must be age catching up. Should blog something to avoid over thoughts of fatty that will lead to more crankiness..


Nowadays it's all about politics; Clinton vs. Obama in the States and also our very own general election that falls on 8th March. All the posters and giant banners of election candidates are starting to pollute every corner of our towns and cities, political related e-mails are being forwarded, bragging about how this and that parties will bring development to our nation.

(vote for the MSN party :P A promising government that will nudge you when you're idle)

For what I'd forecast, the opposition still will not be able to bring any great challenge. Although the people in Malaysia is unhappy with the high rate of inflation in our country, I'd still know a few that would still support the current government because they have this mindset that even if the opposition win, things would still be the same, and if they do win, they'd fear of political turmoils and riots happening all around our nation. A lot of people out there are afraid of changes, just like someone who is stuck with a company without promotion/salary increment and no career prospect but not afraid of seeking another job.

For me, no matter which party win, things wouldn't change much as power always spoil a person. ("No matter who win, we lose " , Alien vs. Predator ) Our country are not bureaucratic enough to control the power abuse of the leaders. Our nation is in hunger with development and it's only 12 years away from year 2020. I seriously doubt we could make it as a develop nation by then, and we can't even compare with our neighbour Singapore, with S48,900 gross domestic product per ca pita figures.

Our country's economy and development is seriously in a very ill condition. We shouldn't be blaming the world's economy when inflation happens in our country. Our earning power is getting less and less compare to countries like Singapore and South Korea, and they were in equal ground with us decades ago. We have abundance of natural resources and they have nothing !

Our nation should rise up. Malaysian's attitude should change to be more productive, instead of wasting time for 'teh-tarik' session EVERY NIGHT complaining bout the hardship of life and the terrible government they're having. We should look at what we had contribute to the nation before blaming all the leaders. We should have more faith on every racial in our country. We should first increase our living standard and earning power and with equal wealth for everyone, no one will be committing crimes (unless for those psychos). We need to have all Malaysians having a healthy and productive mindset.

No matter which party win on this general election, I'm hoping that the leader will seriously put their hearts into developing the nation, not just being proud with their power and abuse it to accumulate wealth for their acquaintances. We should, as a Malaysian, love our nation and develop it.

I'm waiting for the day, the day when we could afford to go for oversea vacation even though we are just an average salary man. The day when our currency value is strong enough to be able to buy an European car with a year's salary. The day when our economy is comparable to Hongkong or London...

Might be just a dream.. but everything is possible :)

That's all for this entry.. time to continue being cranky ~

BOTAK & 한국어

The above weird characters mean 'han gu o' or korean languange. The word 'botak' means bald. Me with my shortest hair in my life (if not mistaken) is learning korean languange and having a very hard time memorizing all the vocabs. Learning an alien languange is really not as easy as it seems. All that I know is how to say pig in korean.. 'due ji'. There's this assignment that I draw alot alot of pigs until the lecturer thought I'm having this weird affection on pigs. I'm also known as Bi (Rain) @ Harisu in that class.. and the later is more preferable by the lecturer..

(kindergarten assignment of korean class =.=)

I'm so sick in da mind, must be missing someone so badly until I'd decided to bald my hair.. it's still not too short. One of my friend, with extra miles of courage and jiwangness, PUNK his hair ! Sigh .. budak budak sekarang have nothing better to do..

Anyway.. I've some true freaking suicide story to share.. but guess it's not so suitable combining those stuff in this entry.. shall share with you all some other time :)

Shining Moments

Inspired by those sweet stuff from kennysia's blog, life is a great journal to be viewed ... sweet moments that you know life is worth living ...



LOVETo be able to experience one of the most beautiful thing in the world


FRIENDSHIP

To be able to do some of the most stupid thing in life together (Uniform Day, June 2007)


FAITH
To have faith in humanity, accumulating karma through blood donation so that I won't reincarnate as a toilet paper next life.


HOPE
Telling myself one fine day I'll be successful, on top of the world !


FAMILY
Will always come first in my life ..

p/s: A blog entry on 3 morning due to insomnia. My 21st birthday was so so, nothing much special. I'm just glad that there are many who still remember on Independence Day. Birthday wish ? Wishing is requesting for something impossible .. I've lotsa wish but I knew it's stupid to wish for them .. As what I'd conned joN, I shall wish for happiness :)

Happy 6/6 Day !

I love occasions and I take them as opportunities to fool around with people and create conversation. Months ago I am lame enough to personally create Monkey Day by spamming people with lotsa monkeys emoticons from MSN and some people actually believed it exist !

While I was browsing one of my old friend's blog.. I found this ..

Aint that so cute :D

Happy SEX SEX Day !

p/s: Almost every of my friends are now attached. I'm worrying for next year's Single Day steamboat event =/ Pray hard that ah mun will be pathetic together with me :p I will be taking off on Sunday 10th June and back on Monday 18th June.

Life is like eating Pan Mee

In few hours time I will be having my first paper and somehow I had this bad feeling that I'm going to screw up. Even though I knew the outcome is going to be terrible, I'm so effortless it fixing it. Sometimes it's the guilt of not trying hard enough. Or maybe it's more towards obtaining the level of sattisfaction that you always wanted, like knowing that you're sattisfied with the revision you've done.

Eating pan mee this afternoon made me had such kind of thoughts. As usual I will tell the aunty working there 'As Usual!', which are large dried pan mee and a cup of ice tea. Somehow there's this dilemma of ordering food that you enjoyed. If you ordered large, the portion might be too much for you but if you ordered normal, you'd feel like its not enough. And the bad thing is there is no choice of ordering something in between, unless you ordered large and never finished it, which is kinda waste.

Life is like eating Pan Mee. There's no easy way to fulfill one's sattisfaction ..

And somehow I read someone's blog stating cleary that I am GAY. Maybe it's true and perhaps this might be the reason she left me for good, thinking that I would suit better in the gay community (lamer's way of self-convincing after being dumped ;p)

Better get some sleep.. and cross-finger that if I screw up my paper, I'm going to screw it together with Ah Mun :D

Mystical Tarots

Few days ago my friend help me to do some Tarot readings and I find it rather amusing. Sometimes such thing is about how well you relate it in your life and if you feel like believing it, subconciously you will find something in your life to relate with the readings and think 'OH THATS SOOOO TRUE' Might be a little coincidence, might be a little one-sided, it's depending on how your mind wants it to be. Anyhow, here is my Tarot reading on relationship.. a little truth and a little fake.. oh well..

1st card: Present state
Now you're in a very calm state and everything seems to be stable and neutral to you.
A little of truth as I'm not having any relationship nowadays but I doubt I'm that calm. Inner me still have those feelings that somehow manage to bring nightmare when I sleep.

2nd card: Your partner
He/she is in a deep dillema that is hard to solve.
And who is that 'he/she' reffered to ?

3rd card: Current relationship
Both of you need more courage to deal with the problem.
Yeah I knew that I'm lack of courage when it comes to this kind of stuff. Maybe it's a hint for me to be wiser next time.

4th card: Future relationship
You will have a happy ending if you successfully obtained him/her while he/she is having other relationship.
Heck this is sooooooooo screw-up ! I don't think I'm 'man' enough to be the third party.

I'm hoping to ask about how to deal with my programming from Tarots, or maybe my future career but the handbook only provide little information on relationship and general life reading. Well, I'm writing all these nonsense because I couldn't sleep again. When I sleep less, the next day will follow with insomnia and would get worst later on. My aunt was around the town so spent alot of chatting with her. She was asking me to go China to learn about her traits in her business this coming holidays. Better spend time polishing on my mandarin and make more money than trying my luck on getting a gf, though sometimes it felt isolated when you are hanging with a bunch of friends and everyone is bringing along their partner while you're all alone.. and the Tarots never helps much anyway

Old Town Girl

Oldtown girl

She's been working in her Oldtown shop

I bet she never had a 'sohai' guy

I bet her papa never told her why


I'm gonna try for an Old town girl

She's been working with her white coffee world

As long as supervisor never fired her

And now she's looking for a 'sohai' man

That's what I am.....

Currently I'm soooo addicted with this Old town staff in cheras, I started humming the above song everytime while taking my shover. Maybe it's because of visiting that place too much, or maybe the 'Ximut Milk Tea' is spiked with some 'spanish fly'.. i'll look at the counter where she's working almost all the time.

I had this problem on liking aneroxic girls... Still can't get rid of the girl i saw in 1U few months ago, and now again, another Old Town aneroxic staff attracts me.

This is life.. will always fall in love with someone that you're impossible to be with. I'll need to keep this obsession secretly without letting her knew.. just in case she poison my drink to get rid of my annoying stare at her... coz somehow she's my friend's friend's cousin. Seems far but when things get screwed up, nothing is impossible !

choices

In chess, a wrong move will result in checkmate. In marriage, a wrong choice will result in despair. In life, a wrong path will lead to patheticness. Again, life is all about choice and consequences. Just like that day when I was deciding to watch a movie in MidValley somehow decided to watch Unholy Matrimony because I love Fan Binbin. That was one of the worst 'horror' movie I'd ever seen, the actress is nowhere pretty and the ghost is nowhere scary, and had the lamest storyline a horror flick could possibly had!

Buat apa di bawah air ? She's Fan Binbin in her scariest look.. SO NOT PRETTY!

Anyway, making the correct choices is very important so that you won't end up laughing at your own stupidity for choosing the movie. In fact we had a great time laughing at ourselves. Making choices are equally important in relationship as well. Recently my friend Keat just had a girlfriend and I think he'd made a good choice. This girl is sporting, allows him to use foul words, give him alot of space and blend easily.

Talking bout relationship, sometimes it's not what we choose to have but it's about what we're fated to have also. Another friend of mine, Kitt has a girlfriend who's already been steady with him for sometime. He's rich and outgoing, and because of him being outgoing gives him a hard time reporting to his girlfriend who is quite obsessive and very pampered. Whenever I see them together, it's about him trying his very best to please her.. just like a dad loving his bratty young daughter, not a bad thing after all.

And that girl reminds me of queen ying. As people say, it's best not to choose the eldest sister or the youngest sister in a family. The eldest one will always take care of her family and her family will always be her priority, resolving you to have less time with her. The youngest daughter of the family most probably will be spoilt and very pampered, which need alot alot alot of effort to be pleased.

For me, I would choose to have the eldest sister as I don't need to have someone sticking to you 24/7. All I want is just a few hours of quality time together every week or even every forthnight. Or maybe that's the reason I couldn't find someone suitable for me, coz no one wants a guy who is soooo 'kayu'...

And that's why I'm still looking for a nature lover out there :D

What The Heck RU Doing in University !!!

Normally around every mid-semester students would be asked to meet up with their AA (Academic Advisor, not AA sized battery) and get to talk some crap with them. Students who are real good in their studies will find that they are doing so well because of themselves and would never bother meeting up with their AA. On the other hand, poor students like me would receive some nagging from them to improve our grades.

I never tell the truth when it comes to meeting with my AA. My story is too long to tell and normally the time I made appointment with him is on lunch hour and I rather end the conversation in 5 minutes and have my RM4 set meal (consist of chicken, egg and vege + cold water).

Firstly my AA would always ask me bout the participant in uni activities. As usual I'd be telling him that I stayed so far away I spent 2 hours traveling everyday and the only recorded activities are blood donations. Then he would ask me to improve my grades as my 1st sem foundation and EEP program results showing 3.7 above (I do hope he treats me like other weak stupid students coz I'M STUPID in certain ways.. and stop the nagging)

In fact, I'm not just another ordinary stupid lazy bratty students who never care improving their grades. I'm always busy, maybe a little bit disoriented with my schedules. Every morning I would wake up at 8 morning and check on news (not mmls or notes coz I dont have a printer and would never bother printing them) and somehow someone would wake up early enough to chat with me. Like yesterday, I chatted until 9.20am knowing that it took at least 35 minutes to reach campus driving on average of 130km/h. Got ready everything and left home at 9.30, stop by at nearest bakery to get some bread(my stupid class is 7 hours straight due to taking extra subjects and having Friday as holiday). Somehow reaching 15 minutes late to class.. enjoying my fresh baked bread :D

My favourite activity is to make annoying irritating sharp shirking sound on the floor with my shoes and annoy the hell out of my friends. Reading papers are also something fun in class. Besides, I do vandalize a little bit, like removing those screws on the lecture seats and keeping them as souvenir, drawing on tables and also smuggling some electronic components out of the lab. I'm also active in activities and event 'that was set up by others'. Just like yesterday when our fellow MMU created another lame longest kebab world record, I did took part at looking on how stupid they were arranging the 3.4 tons of chicken meat.

During boring lecture sessions, I will either sleep, play puzzle games or do origamy aka paper art. My origamy is simple, tearing small pieces of papers to create rubbish then make a paper box to fill those small pieces of papers and later on pour it on the lecturer desk later on. I'm such a freak..

Oh well, it's almost time for me to meet up with my AA. Perhaps I should tell him my habits so that he could guide me :p

Aint Life Weird Yet Funny?

Chinese New Year is the time when you visit your friends and relatives to know how they are doing, how fat they have been, who are they hook up with and etc. rather than just knowing the fact that they are still alive for the past 1 year. Somehow my relatives have a very weird habit, which is to bring their gfs and bfs along during CNY visiting. Maybe doing so will sattisfy the desire of my grandma who wish to see all her grandchildren get married while she's still alive.

Grandma and my other aunts will pressure me and my brother to bring along our 'gfs' due to the fact that every of my cousins are either married or have shown their partners. It is funny to think back when I was still young and those aunts will say "boy.. study first dont paktor paktor!"
Anyway, CNY is the only time we'll meet up with relatives that is not much significant in our lives. Although I meet with my relatives once or twice a year, most of us will have alot of common topics to banter about. There's only this particular sisters that I'd NEVER talk to with for 19 years (considering the fact that I could talk at age2). Somehow it's either they are weird or we(every other cousins of mine also never had a single conversation with them) are abnormal. Maybe it's the communication barrier that exist without much reason between us.

I had a very close friend who used to had alot of conversation until this very invisible yet scary communication barrier make us soo distant..

Me: Hi
Friend:Hi
Me:How u been up to?
Friend:Nothing much <- conversation killer ranking as high as :)

..........

Nowadays our conversation would happen like maybe once a month in an average of 10 words. The conclusion we could get from the conversation is that both of us are still alive =p


Still its great to find out that your friends are still alive :D

Chap Goh Mei is coming and will mark the end of CNY, thus no more mahjong for me anymore.. Hope everyone would have a great day on 15th night and of course I'll go to those riverside to pick up those mandarin oranges thrown by single women.. desperately coz had been promising my aunts to bring a gf back next cny ...

haha it's gonna be another long year !

CNY crap !

This is my daughter. She's the one who kept my lonely heart from being overwhelming. According to 'The Protige" movie, the main reason that leads to drugs is loneliness. For a little bit spoiler of that movie, Daniel Wu nearly took drugs until his adopted daughter stopped him. In my case, I'm having my imaginary daughter.. (Lih Fang must be thinking that i am very crazy :P)

Somehow when my daughter grows up, she will follow some chinkak guys and left her imaginary daddy. Sadly I'll have to resolve into something more practical rather than just depending on my imaginary daughter although she's very lovely. I should find a life partner to cure my loneliness. My problem is that sometimes I'm annoying enough to the extend of people blocking me from msn and I had a bad appearance compare to Daniel Wu. Having a dateless valentines for 20 years is one good proof of being pathetic.

So I resolve into plastic surgery....
And after hours of hardwork...
This is the new me.. nicely toned arms and sexy eyes.. :P Oh well, anyway I'm just testing out my newly bought W810i which was actually a gift from my dearest Aunt Gina :D Somehow I'm so lovely that she always give me something :P
And this is the best picture for Chinese New Year ! Five pigs of four cycle ! My uncle2 being the eldest pig, Aunt Gina(2nd eldest pig), my bro(youngest pig), uncle6's wife(3rd eldest pig) and also bear's wife(youngest pig) and her baby being carried by my uncle2's wife (not pig :P). In this picture, it's the happiest face I've ever seen from the girl in the middle. Somehow I'd feel like she is more cheerful in this smile compare to her wedding.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVERYONE !

Valentines Dillema

I hate the idea of couples going for dinner at steamboat restaurant during valentines day. Last year we waited for almost an hour just to have a place, looking at those lovey-dovey couples wasting their time acting polite at buffet style steamboat restaurant. If you don't feel like getting sweaty and keeping with your table manners with your partner, please proceed to any fine dining restaurant or anything equivalent, NOT A BUFFET STEAMBOAT RESTAURANT.

To cultivate the spirit of steamboat, one must oblige certain rules as follow:

1. Stay less than 2 feet away from the pot, so that you can fully enjoy the aroma of the soup and also be sweaty.
2. Everything put inside the pot must leave the pot within 5 minutes and to be consume immediately even if it is to burn your tongue.
3. Always have 'yao gui' mentality assuming that the fish ball is the last one you'll ever had in life.
4. Spend 70% of the time standing up so that you could easily get the stuff inside the pot and keep the process going on (adding new stuffs inside).
5. If it's a buffet style.. try to make the restaurant owner regret about the concept of having buffet.

Couples should go for something more romantic, or maybe cooking their very own love meal at home. It's so wrong to go for a steamboat restaurant...

My V-days are those days spent with the love of someone and loving someone, not on the highly commercialize 14th February. It's a great feeling after all, the sense of achievement and sattisfaction when you see the one you loved is happy. It's still good even if the effort comes from someone else who is more lucky... as love are meant to be shared :p

Anyway .. guess I could save up my 10% of savings in doing anything nonsense this year :P

Last entry of the year ~

"The reason people like to drink liquor is because it's difficult to drink.." Tony Leung, Confession of Pain

I find the above quote kinda true. Yesterday I went to a cafe and ordered some Lavender Milk Shake, it looks good inside the picture but taste weird and eerie. Still, I enjoyed till the very last drop, sipping the terrible drink slowly.. estatic. Sometimes it's human nature, we tend to challenge ourselves with difficulties that we choose. This is why I choose engineering instead of business/management that I could definitely do better. We always choose the wrong choice in life but still live with it and that's what make life up and down.

It's new year's eve and guess I'd be sitting at home doing my last minute revision. Somehow when big days like new year or christmas arrive, most friends are occupied with their partners. Sometimes it struck the heart looking and all your friends that you're hanging out with walking with their partners holding hands while you're walking alone behind following them. A little bit of jealousy or maybe a little bit of loneliness cocktail. But then that's not really what I'd wanted, relationship tends to be a crap to me before I realise what I could offer to it and what I'd wanted from it.

Thhe best thing to do in new year's eve is to recall back what you'd done for the whole year and what you plan to see yourself on the next year. I read a good entry from my friend talking about how we should be persistance in achieving our resolution and not just let our dreams consumed by time. Very motivated. For the past year lotsa stuff happened indeed, failed an exam, failed a relationship, get my first A for exams, flood in malaysia (alto nothing to do with me), addicted to being poke by needle, slacking tremendously and the list goes on..

A new year is not a new year without making resolutions:-

1. Slack less and work harder in improving my grades (tho i dun care much on academic but still its contradictin to my principle of challengin myself if i really dun care)
2. Exercise more
3. Understand more about being romantic and relationship
4. Talk less crap and use less foul words
5. Eat no less supper
6. Reach moksha and nirvana (...it's complicated!)

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE ~

A Letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

I'd been relatively a good boy this year. I don't do drugs and don't cheat on any innocent woman and I'd been donating blood for two times this year. The last time I wrote to you was like many many years ago when I was four or five where I'd asked for a jumbo size Kellogs Frosties and thanks to that, it came true and I was obese since then. Since it's kinda late to write a letter and post it to South Pole or wherever your headquarter lies (the last time I asked my mommy to send it =p) so I'd assume that in this IT age Santa does read blogs and hope you'd come across mine since I'm such a nice person =D

This year's christmas is going to be a lonely christmas for me, everyone around me seems to have something else to do. To make things worst, I'd stumbled across an article, "the lonely hearts guide to holidays" in yahoo. Since I dont feel like following the guide, I'm taking this opportunity to ask from you.

I want to be less lonely so you should know what to do. If you are to busy with your schedule, I'd suggest that you give me my imaginary GF (the one I'm displaying in my msn display) or my imaginary daughter (the smart one that always amuse me in my dreams) or both. If I do sound sick to you then you can also give me a lambourgini so that I could work myself out of loneliness; a little cash might help.

Thank you dearest santa. I'll continue to be a good boy =)

p/s: Sorry santa I was just kidding. All I wish for is that everyone I knew having a great christmas and holiday! Though I knew I wudnt enjoy christmas as much as last year n probably wudnt get any christmas present from anyone; perhaps you could give me another jumbo size Kellogs Frosties so that I cud enjoy eating em while looking at da beautiful wind chime of mine... sweet memories =)

J for John

I juz read an article from yahoo talking about the three As for a success relationship, appreciation, attention and appearance. Heck now I know why all these while I'm such a loser and always got dumped.. must be my excessive fat! Today onwards must really stick with my exercise routine!

Above is picture of John from project superstar. I met John last Friday during the beach party and one of my friend was so excited with it. I'm also known as John to her and she said there's two John that night. Guess she'd share the same love towards the real John and me and I'd wonder why John? Why not Andy Lau?

I knew about John from watching project superstar finale at a friend's place, not very impressed with their singing on that particular night and having her sister who kept complaining about the outfit of those contestants. Somehow during the beach party I'd be a tiny bit proud that I'm so called John because live singing is definitely better than what you'd seen from the screen. At least women fell for it more. Maybe I should pick up singing instead of building my appearance and competing in the next coming project superstar..

Well christmas coming soon and I'm still available on that night. Any party? Most of my friends never have that kind of spirit~ Duh christmas is not an opportunity to date with ur partner and get infatuated !! It's bout the christmas spirit. Perhaps I should suggest my friends to have presents exchange event. If there's more than 10 people interested with it then I'd transform myself into John and sing everyone a song..

p/s: I actually had alot of passion to sing =p . Anyway just woke up from afternoon nap and had a dream that the doctor saying I'd only one month left to live.. scary.. it was some kinda lung disease. Guess I should do more exercise !